Irrational means “not logical or reasonable”. Monday night I had to have two MRI’s. I had prayed until I felt even God was tired of hearing me. Monday, I wrote Scripture texts on my hand to remind myself I wasn’t going to be alone. Melanie told me, “Relax and let the valium do its job.”
On the way to Tallahassee, I remembered and read Matthew 26:38-44 and realized that Jesus was terrified knowing what the immediate future held in store for Him. Three times He fervently prayed for God to remove “this cup”. Three times, God refused.
When we stopped for gas, I took the first Valium and prayed for strength and peace. After I had filled out the paperwork, I took the second pill, and prayed again for strength and peace.
After the test on my knee, I took the last, and once again, prayed for peace and strength. (“Relax and let the pills do their job.” Jesus had no pills.)
Following extensive explanations, preparations, and reassurances that this could be rescheduled, if necessary, I entered the tube the final time. (Jesus wasn’t offered a chance at a “do over”.) I prayed constantly through the first test and this one began no differently. Suddenly I was overcome with peace, humiliation, and a profound sadness at the depth of my sins.
My Savior begged His closest friends to pray with Him. They fell asleep. He underwent abject sorrow because of sins I would be committing 2,000 years later. He wanted me with Him so much that He faced the most bitter cup of trial possible – the cup of betrayal of, not just Judas, but ALL his closest friends. (Matthew 26:56) In His greatest hour of need, He was abandoned. In my hour of need, I knew my friends had not only NOT abandoned me, but they were praying with and for me. Jesus faced all His trials alone with no one to hold His hand, but George continuously offered words of encouragement.
I made it through both tests with only a minimum of fear and discomfort. I finished my tests to cheers from the ones running the machine and George. No one cheered when Jesus’ trials ended in His death. I still have an irrational fear of tight places and especially MRI machines, but thanks to a new understanding of Matthew 26, I know I can overcome where necessary.